Seriously, my siblings are driving me insane and it's only a week and a half into summer vacation. THANK YOU GOD I'M GOING AWAY NEXT WEEK! They have driven me to the point where I'm not going to an asylum. No, the police will probably get to me first. I just want to wrap my hands around their little throats...but hopefully I'll be whisked away to Pitt for some alone time with my relatives before that happens. Anyway, I'll stop ranting. I happen to have more "funnies" as my friend calls them.

Ever Wonder...

...why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
...why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins lottery"?
...why abbreviated is such a long word?
...why it is that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "start"?
...why it is that lemon juice is made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why that man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called "rush hour"?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tests dog food when it is "new and improved"?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitos?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, then is congress the opposite of progress?
...if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

And a random quote from Bill Engvall:
"Because we love our dogs, but let's face it they're not the smartest animals to come out of the pet store...but that's why they're man's best friend. Because guys want buddies who are dumber than they are! So do women, but they've already got men!"